Was the last time I wrote in this biotch. I am in the middle of a cluster mess of a semester, so I am going to sit and declare myself too busy for this. BUSY! I need to have more a direction with this thing so that I am tempted to type more often.. what should it be?
Here is a little inspiration I am passing along. Let it move you, it will happen..
Let it Be
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be
-The Beatles
Any suggestions on things to write about, let me know!
-Desi
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
I Am.
In this new year I have given myself a little bit of time to think about what I will do with this year, and I have come up with the following:
*Graduate (BS & BA)- FINALLY become a real adult.
*Actually make an effort to save money.
*Read More
*Depend on Television LESS.
*Devote more time to writing.
*Study for the re-GRE.
*Apply for grown-up college (Graduate Programs).
*Consistently take my vitamins.
With all this said, we will see how the story unfolds.
Now onto my favorite part of the entry.. the song that speaks to me:
"So, tell me is it right?
To feel like we're only getting smaller
And if we were to find the feeling
But I'm only treading water
We've made a few mistakes, it's not worth it to say
(we all fall for the sound)
'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own
Believe the sound when the truth will send you falling
You see the lights but your mind isn't open
Now I hear you calling
We've made a few mistakes, it's not worth it to say
(we all fall for the sound)
'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own
Open your eyes and let all the light in
Open your eyes up a little more
I'm sure it will soon come out
'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own
Open your eyes and let all the light in
Open your eyes up a little more
I'm sure it will soon come out."
"Collapse"- Saosin
Bye Bye Ms. American Pie.
*Graduate (BS & BA)- FINALLY become a real adult.
*Actually make an effort to save money.
*Read More
*Depend on Television LESS.
*Devote more time to writing.
*Study for the re-GRE.
*Apply for grown-up college (Graduate Programs).
*Consistently take my vitamins.
With all this said, we will see how the story unfolds.
Now onto my favorite part of the entry.. the song that speaks to me:
"So, tell me is it right?
To feel like we're only getting smaller
And if we were to find the feeling
But I'm only treading water
We've made a few mistakes, it's not worth it to say
(we all fall for the sound)
'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own
Believe the sound when the truth will send you falling
You see the lights but your mind isn't open
Now I hear you calling
We've made a few mistakes, it's not worth it to say
(we all fall for the sound)
'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own
Open your eyes and let all the light in
Open your eyes up a little more
I'm sure it will soon come out
'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own
Open your eyes and let all the light in
Open your eyes up a little more
I'm sure it will soon come out."
"Collapse"- Saosin
Bye Bye Ms. American Pie.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Breed it and Bare it.
My spin on words is quite deliberate. I am not really in a great mood at the current time, and this one goes out to the one I love. I am so emotionally out of it right now. I am quite unmotivated and I am very happy that I don't have to work at all tomorrow. I am hoping that tomorrow will allow me the time I need to really delve into what really is driving my actions currently. I need some time to reflect. Unfortunately, that will have to wait until some point next week. For there are events and plans scheduled from now until Monday. No time for little old Desi.
Here we go: This yelled at me today on the way to work:
"You sold your soul for an ounce of attention.
Gaining the world and demanding affection.
Will you ever be pleased with your own skin?
Will you ever refuse what they're asking?
You can't hide your insecurities with a pretty face.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
Begging face down on the floor.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
You sold your soul, now they want more.
Vanity's gun left you dead in Hollywood.
Empty, addicted, and screaming for comfort
From a world devoid of compassion
Exchanging hopes for rejection.
You can't hide your insecurities with a pretty face.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
Begging face down on the floor.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
You sold your soul, now they want more."
"Narcotic"-Dead Poetic
Adieu.
Here we go: This yelled at me today on the way to work:
"You sold your soul for an ounce of attention.
Gaining the world and demanding affection.
Will you ever be pleased with your own skin?
Will you ever refuse what they're asking?
You can't hide your insecurities with a pretty face.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
Begging face down on the floor.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
You sold your soul, now they want more.
Vanity's gun left you dead in Hollywood.
Empty, addicted, and screaming for comfort
From a world devoid of compassion
Exchanging hopes for rejection.
You can't hide your insecurities with a pretty face.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
Begging face down on the floor.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
You sold your soul, now they want more."
"Narcotic"-Dead Poetic
Adieu.
Friday, December 3, 2010
So Why Don't You?
I think blogging is helping me get through this end of the semester stress. This blog is super important to me, because it allows me time for therapy in the form of music. I absolutely love this song, because it screams! Here we go:
Wake up! Wake up! My God!
This is not a test!
And it's not too late to come clean
Get it off your chest
So steady your hand before your face and concentrate
There's got to be some stable ground
Left to walk on
So tear another page from the book
Are you asleep or just alone?
Clear this room from your lungs
Pull yourself together
Pull yourself together, man
On your back,
You're sleeping in a bed of shame
Let the light breath some new life into this room
It's what keeps you coming back
Made up of insatiable taste
Bury your head in your hands
And sing into yourself
Oh!
Just what are you so afraid of?
What are you so afraid of?
You're staring truth in the face
So come on down
What are you so afraid of?
You're busy living now, aren't you?
You're busy making vows
You're coming unglued
Time is shorter than you know
I know the light is blinding to the naked eye
So why don't you take steps away from being alone?
I swear, it's not too late for you
It's all worth reaching for
The hand to pull you out
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
And step outside your box
Wake up!
In Regards to Myself- underOATH
LOVES it. Now go, and reflect.
-Desi
Wake up! Wake up! My God!
This is not a test!
And it's not too late to come clean
Get it off your chest
So steady your hand before your face and concentrate
There's got to be some stable ground
Left to walk on
So tear another page from the book
Are you asleep or just alone?
Clear this room from your lungs
Pull yourself together
Pull yourself together, man
On your back,
You're sleeping in a bed of shame
Let the light breath some new life into this room
It's what keeps you coming back
Made up of insatiable taste
Bury your head in your hands
And sing into yourself
Oh!
Just what are you so afraid of?
What are you so afraid of?
You're staring truth in the face
So come on down
What are you so afraid of?
You're busy living now, aren't you?
You're busy making vows
You're coming unglued
Time is shorter than you know
I know the light is blinding to the naked eye
So why don't you take steps away from being alone?
I swear, it's not too late for you
It's all worth reaching for
The hand to pull you out
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
And step outside your box
Wake up!
In Regards to Myself- underOATH
LOVES it. Now go, and reflect.
-Desi
Thursday, December 2, 2010
So Just a Little End-of-Semester Pick me up.
I have been sitting here sort of neglecting a lot of things recently:
*My Relationship
*My Homework
*My RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis my joints are killing me somedays)
*My General Health (Getting Flabby)
And was called out tonight on it. I was questioned as to why I do the things I do. Why do I choose to ignore the pressing and majorly important things in my life? I realize it is sort of a defense mechanism that I have used all of my life. When things become tense, stressful, and overwhelming I shut down and off. I may be physically there, but hollow behind these eyes. I will work on this because I feel like I need to become better in times of stress, so being called out will be a great life lesson I will take and use. Cheers for telling me I need to work on it, though it definitely will not change over night. One song that has been on and will be on throughout the final leg of this semester, and FINALS is from Tahiti 80. It's very inspiring to me, and brings me hope. Here we go:
"My life is a mess
just like everybody elses
I guess
not enough time
and too much stress
I'm neglecting you
I'm not saying
I don't worry at all
There are times and moments
to cure my soul
sit back and relax
it's gonna be alright
I know we can
sort this out
It's just a matter of time
baby can't you see
the look on my face
won't you give me a try
I know we can
work it out
It's just a matter of time
baby won't you say
you'll stay and
kiss me one more time
Life is a test
it can be tough but
I'm doing my best
it takes some time
and a lot of stress
but I'm finding my way
I'm not saying
you learn all along
There is always someone
to tell you it's wrong
but I'm talking too much
get back to real life
Say the word
and I'll be there
(so don't you worry now)
Just say the word
and I'll be there
(so don't you worry now)
I'm not saying
I don't worry at all
There are times and moments
to cure my soul
just sit back and relax
it's gonna be alright
Just say the word
and I'll be there."
-Matter of Time by Tahiti 80
Ciao,
-Desi
*My Relationship
*My Homework
*My RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis my joints are killing me somedays)
*My General Health (Getting Flabby)
And was called out tonight on it. I was questioned as to why I do the things I do. Why do I choose to ignore the pressing and majorly important things in my life? I realize it is sort of a defense mechanism that I have used all of my life. When things become tense, stressful, and overwhelming I shut down and off. I may be physically there, but hollow behind these eyes. I will work on this because I feel like I need to become better in times of stress, so being called out will be a great life lesson I will take and use. Cheers for telling me I need to work on it, though it definitely will not change over night. One song that has been on and will be on throughout the final leg of this semester, and FINALS is from Tahiti 80. It's very inspiring to me, and brings me hope. Here we go:
"My life is a mess
just like everybody elses
I guess
not enough time
and too much stress
I'm neglecting you
I'm not saying
I don't worry at all
There are times and moments
to cure my soul
sit back and relax
it's gonna be alright
I know we can
sort this out
It's just a matter of time
baby can't you see
the look on my face
won't you give me a try
I know we can
work it out
It's just a matter of time
baby won't you say
you'll stay and
kiss me one more time
Life is a test
it can be tough but
I'm doing my best
it takes some time
and a lot of stress
but I'm finding my way
I'm not saying
you learn all along
There is always someone
to tell you it's wrong
but I'm talking too much
get back to real life
Say the word
and I'll be there
(so don't you worry now)
Just say the word
and I'll be there
(so don't you worry now)
I'm not saying
I don't worry at all
There are times and moments
to cure my soul
just sit back and relax
it's gonna be alright
Just say the word
and I'll be there."
-Matter of Time by Tahiti 80
Ciao,
-Desi
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
A blast. From my Past
I am in the middle of my terrible horrible no good very bad day, and was doing my normal sulking, and vegging in bed, when I got a blast from the past. This song hit home when I heard it seemingly for the first time all over again. You know, that moment that you just feel every lyric of a song? Yea. Hello, my name is Desi.
Without Further Ado:
Without Further Ado:
"Just forget about it, anything I said about it
drive away tonight you think it's fine.
You put it all inside and run, and never look behind
it's all the same besides the fact that it's mine.
Think of me when you dream and you know
I'm wide awake and thinkin' of you.
Cause I swear when you're there alone
know that I'm wide awake tonight
You could hold my heart,
it's all yours if you want.
Just forget about it, set your mark and keep away
the thoughts that are, just the opposite of you.
It happens every time you fall
you write it off as it were all "I'll be fine just let me try too".
And sing to me, when you sink
and you know that I'm wide awake and watching for you.
Cause I swear when you're there alone
know that I'm wide awake tonight.
I'm Letting you know now
Don't wait just tell me all about it."
drive away tonight you think it's fine.
You put it all inside and run, and never look behind
it's all the same besides the fact that it's mine.
Think of me when you dream and you know
I'm wide awake and thinkin' of you.
Cause I swear when you're there alone
know that I'm wide awake tonight
You could hold my heart,
it's all yours if you want.
Just forget about it, set your mark and keep away
the thoughts that are, just the opposite of you.
It happens every time you fall
you write it off as it were all "I'll be fine just let me try too".
And sing to me, when you sink
and you know that I'm wide awake and watching for you.
Cause I swear when you're there alone
know that I'm wide awake tonight.
I'm Letting you know now
Don't wait just tell me all about it."
"Hold my Heart"
Letter Kills
Right? I know. So far, this semester has been extremely trying for me, and I have realized that I have to postpone my graduation date, so to fill the time, I added a second major. I thought, since I am so fascinated in the world of Philosophy, I may as well get a degree in it while I am at it. Also, it will keep me from feeling like a complete failure. Other than that, life is good.
-Desi
Monday, September 27, 2010
No TIME To Elaborate, So Here is What's on My Mind
"When I Go Down"
I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods
I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works
When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them
If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found
I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find an end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works
Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there
I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet you love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly
You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear your voice
And I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth
When I go down
I lift my eyes to you
I won't look very far
Cause you'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again
-Relient K
I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods
I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works
When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them
If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found
I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find an end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works
Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there
I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet you love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly
You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear your voice
And I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth
When I go down
I lift my eyes to you
I won't look very far
Cause you'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again
-Relient K
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