Who Am I: Psychologist or Philosopher?

Right Now,

I am finding myself at a fork in the road about whether I want to go into Philosophy or Psychology. In a perfect world I would like to integrate perspectives from both disciplines and do most of my writings and research on Critical Race Theory, Feminist Theory, and Human Sexuality (in no particular order). I am attempting an undergraduate thesis in Philosophy that will attempt to do this. I will use this experience as a preview to how things may be attempting to merge these two ideas. The real problem is that I do want to go into Counseling, so I have a slight affinity to the discipline of Psychology. With that said, my undergraduate experiences with both of these departments are so opposing, where the Psychology department has been cold and stand off-ish, and the Philosophy department has been nothing but open and supportive of their students. I will have to decide what to do before August, since that is when I will be applying for graduate school. What I may end up doing is applying to both Philosophy AND Psychology programs, and seeing if any actually accept me. haha. TO BE CONTINUED..

The song I chose may not be as coordinated with this topic as it is inspiring to me:

Living on a Prayer

Once upon a time
Not so long ago
Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough

Gina works the diner all day
Working for her man, she brings home her pay
For love - for love

She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give it a shot

We're half way there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Livin' on a prayer

Tommy got his six string in hock
Now he's holding in what he used
To make it talk - so tough, it's tough

Gina dreams of running away
When she cries in the night
Tommy whispers: Baby it's okay, someday
We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give it a shot

We're half way there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Livin' on a prayer
We've got to hold on ready or not
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got
We're half way there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Livin' on a prayer
 

-Bon Jovi & Writers

Maybe I will figure this out. 

One Day.

~Ciao Ragazzi

3 MONTH's Ago

Was the last time I wrote in this biotch. I am in the middle of a cluster mess of a semester, so I am going to sit and declare myself too busy for this. BUSY! I need to have more a direction with this thing so that I am tempted to type more often.. what should it be?




Here is a little inspiration I am passing along. Let it move you, it will happen..

Let it Be


When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be


-The Beatles


Any suggestions on things to write about, let me know!


-Desi

I Am.

In this new year I have given myself a little bit of time to think about what I will do with this year, and I have come up with the following:

*Graduate (BS & BA)- FINALLY become a real adult.
*Actually make an effort to save money.
*Read More
*Depend on Television LESS.
*Devote more time to writing.
*Study for the re-GRE.
*Apply for grown-up college (Graduate Programs).
*Consistently take my vitamins.

With all this said, we will see how the story unfolds.

Now onto my favorite part of the entry.. the song that speaks to me:

"So, tell me is it right?
To feel like we're only getting smaller
And if we were to find the feeling
But I'm only treading water
We've made a few mistakes, it's not worth it to say
(we all fall for the sound)

'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own

Believe the sound when the truth will send you falling
You see the lights but your mind isn't open
Now I hear you calling
We've made a few mistakes, it's not worth it to say
(we all fall for the sound)

'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own

Open your eyes and let all the light in
Open your eyes up a little more
I'm sure it will soon come out

'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own

Open your eyes and let all the light in
Open your eyes up a little more
I'm sure it will soon come out."

"Collapse"- Saosin


Bye Bye Ms. American Pie.

Breed it and Bare it.

My spin on words is quite deliberate. I am not really in a great mood at the current time, and this one goes out to the one I love. I am so emotionally out of it right now. I am quite unmotivated and I am very happy that I don't have to work at all tomorrow. I am hoping that tomorrow will allow me the time I need to really delve into what really is driving my actions currently. I need some time to reflect. Unfortunately, that will have to wait until some point next week. For there are events and plans scheduled from now until Monday. No time for little old Desi.

Here we go: This yelled at me today on the way to work:

"You sold your soul for an ounce of attention.
Gaining the world and demanding affection.
Will you ever be pleased with your own skin?
Will you ever refuse what they're asking?

You can't hide your insecurities with a pretty face.

Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
Begging face down on the floor.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
You sold your soul, now they want more.

Vanity's gun left you dead in Hollywood.
Empty, addicted, and screaming for comfort
From a world devoid of compassion
Exchanging hopes for rejection.

You can't hide your insecurities with a pretty face.

Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
Begging face down on the floor.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
You sold your soul, now they want more."

"Narcotic"-Dead Poetic

Adieu.

So Why Don't You?

I think blogging is helping me get through this end of the semester stress. This blog is super important to me, because it allows me time for therapy in the form of music. I absolutely love this song, because it screams! Here we go:

Wake up! Wake up! My God!
This is not a test!
And it's not too late to come clean
Get it off your chest
So steady your hand before your face and concentrate
There's got to be some stable ground
Left to walk on

So tear another page from the book
Are you asleep or just alone?
Clear this room from your lungs

Pull yourself together
Pull yourself together, man

On your back,
You're sleeping in a bed of shame
Let the light breath some new life into this room
It's what keeps you coming back
Made up of insatiable taste
Bury your head in your hands
And sing into yourself

Oh!

Just what are you so afraid of?
What are you so afraid of?
You're staring truth in the face
So come on down
What are you so afraid of?

You're busy living now, aren't you?
You're busy making vows
You're coming unglued

Time is shorter than you know
I know the light is blinding to the naked eye
So why don't you take steps away from being alone?
I swear, it's not too late for you

It's all worth reaching for
The hand to pull you out

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
And step outside your box

Wake up! 

In Regards to Myself- underOATH

LOVES it. Now go, and reflect.

-Desi

So Just a Little End-of-Semester Pick me up.

I have been sitting here sort of neglecting a lot of things recently:

*My Relationship
*My Homework
*My RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis my joints are killing me somedays)
*My General Health (Getting Flabby)

And was called out tonight on it. I was questioned as to why I do the things I do. Why do I choose to ignore the pressing and majorly important things in my life? I realize it is sort of a defense mechanism that I have used all of my life. When things become tense, stressful, and overwhelming I shut down and off. I may be physically there, but hollow behind these eyes. I will work on this because I feel like I need to become better in times of stress, so being called out will be a great life lesson I will take and use. Cheers for telling me I need to work on it, though it definitely will not change over night. One song that has been on and will be on throughout the final leg of this semester, and FINALS is from Tahiti 80. It's very inspiring to me, and brings me hope. Here we go:

"My life is a mess
just like everybody elses
I guess
not enough time
and too much stress
I'm neglecting you

I'm not saying
I don't worry at all
There are times and moments
to cure my soul
sit back and relax
it's gonna be alright

I know we can
sort this out
It's just a matter of time
baby can't you see
the look on my face
won't you give me a try

I know we can
work it out
It's just a matter of time
baby won't you say
you'll stay and
kiss me one more time

Life is a test
it can be tough but
I'm doing my best
it takes some time
and a lot of stress
but I'm finding my way

I'm not saying
you learn all along
There is always someone
to tell you it's wrong
but I'm talking too much
get back to real life

Say the word
and I'll be there
(so don't you worry now)

Just say the word
and I'll be there
(so don't you worry now) 

I'm not saying
I don't worry at all
There are times and moments
to cure my soul
just sit back and relax
it's gonna be alright


Just say the word 
and I'll be there."
-Matter of Time by Tahiti 80

Ciao,
-Desi

A blast. From my Past

I am in the middle of my terrible horrible no good very bad day, and was doing my normal sulking, and vegging in bed, when I got a blast from the past. This song hit home when I heard it seemingly for the first time all over again. You know, that moment that you just feel every lyric of a song? Yea. Hello, my name is Desi.

Without Further Ado:

"Just forget about it, anything I said about it
drive away tonight you think it's fine.
You put it all inside and run, and never look behind
it's all the same besides the fact that it's mine.
Think of me when you dream and you know
I'm wide awake and thinkin' of you.
Cause I swear when you're there alone
know that I'm wide awake tonight

You could hold my heart,
it's all yours if you want.

Just forget about it, set your mark and keep away
the thoughts that are, just the opposite of you.
It happens every time you fall
you write it off as it were all "I'll be fine just let me try too".
And sing to me, when you sink
and you know that I'm wide awake and watching for you.
Cause I swear when you're there alone
know that I'm wide awake tonight.

I'm Letting you know now


Don't wait just tell me all about it."

"Hold my Heart"

Letter Kills 

Right? I know. So far, this semester has been extremely trying for me, and I have realized that I have to postpone my graduation date, so to fill the time, I added a second major. I thought, since I am so fascinated in the world of Philosophy, I may as well get a degree in it while I am at it. Also, it will keep me from feeling like a complete failure. Other than that, life is good.

-Desi