It Looks Like You Have a Case of The Mondays...

I am beginning my blog with a poem this time:

I Cannot Go To School Today!

by Shel Silverstein

"I cannot go to school today"

Said little Peggy Ann McKay.

"I have the measles and the mumps,

A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.

I'm going blind in my right eye.

My tonsils are as big as rocks,

I've counted sixteen chicken pox.

And there's one more - that's seventeen,

And don't you think my face looks green?

My leg is cut, my eyes are blue,

It might be the instamatic flu.

I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,

I'm sure that my left leg is broke.

My hip hurts when I move my chin,

My belly button's caving in.

My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,

My 'pendix pains each time it rains.

My toes are cold, my toes are numb,

I have a sliver in my thumb.

My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,

I hardly whisper when I speak.

My tongue is filling up my mouth,

I think my hair is falling out.

My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,

My temperature is one-o-eight.

My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

There's a hole inside my ear.

I have a hangnail, and my heart is ...

What? What's that? What's that you say?

You say today is .............. Saturday?

G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

This is the beginning of summer session 1 y'all. I have an Intro class followed by an upper-level class. The intro class is Sociology and it's RETARDED y'all. Not to offend anyone that has mental incapabilities or anything, but the teacher walks up and down each aisle of the class and awkwardly speaks to one specific student about dumbass really general and most basic info. Freaking general education requirements can eat my left buttcheek. Though the upper-level course is a really cool philosophy course about women in the media, and it completely makes up for the morning intro- bull-shit class and the 4 hour gap in between the two courses (ugh). The professor of the Phil class is pretty neat, and the way that she paces herself and the way in which she presents the information is very enteraining and captivating. I think it won't be bad to do this for 3 days a week. The only thing is it's already 7, and I have a daily discusion that I HAVE to do before 2 tomorrow. 

Recap on Last Blog

Yeah, so I am quitting the lab I said that I had a problem with. They don't appreciate me. I mean, I know I am like the lowest on the totem pole and everything (being an undergraduate student) but they could at least give me a thank you or something, not a you suck, and you're too welcoming and laid back to be taken seriously. K, bye lab.

And on and on..

So, I was talking to Ritchie about my family situation and I totally feel more confused about it than ever now, and don't know what I should do about it. I as a person, compartmentalize EVERYTHING in my brain. I repress a lot of emotions from the past, and don't really let much get to me, well, on the surface. I guess I should just brush the person that I was referring to off my shoulder and not hold a grudge, because you know what? I AM an adult and I am fully capable of being an independent, strong, intellectual human being whether or not this person may never see me as anything else besides a six year old little girl. I won't see her for more than what she is to me, a person. Didn't the word person kind-of buzzkill that last statement? Well this blog is a public one, so ANYONE could be reading it. We don't wanna go there all the way.

Speaking of Which

I have been constantly thinking about how I need to begin giving 100% to myself and truly living. Not just by blogging (which is seemingly therapeutic) but through journaling, writing poetry, dancing, and singing. I have been fairly consistant with the recent blogging... hopefully I will keep it up. I have been so stuck in my own head lately that I've not done more than really think. THINKING THINKING THINKING.

All in All..

I am not so much stuck in a creative rut as much as I am stuck in a monetary one. I cannot find a job to save my life and I don't know how I will have the next two months rent.. between now and August. Ritchie is SUCH a lifesaver, he says he has my back, though I feel badly because I should be having my own! We'll see if I get any call backs (right). I am sooo thankful for him, he loves me so much and keeps me so happy. I can't wait to really begin our family and settle down with our 6 kids, 2 dogs, and 4 cats!! Wow, finally something I can smile about. Thank you Ritchie, for being my road dog.

In conclusion

My hopes in this blog is to eventually share a teeny bit of my own work, though I don't want people to try and steal it (all the millions of people who look at my blog.. LOL). So, now I am just puting up poetry and such that is inspiring to me at the moment. I will end with an excerpt from one of my favorite children's books that basically encapsulates my feeling today:

"I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day." 

— Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

Ciao~

Desi