Breed it and Bare it.

My spin on words is quite deliberate. I am not really in a great mood at the current time, and this one goes out to the one I love. I am so emotionally out of it right now. I am quite unmotivated and I am very happy that I don't have to work at all tomorrow. I am hoping that tomorrow will allow me the time I need to really delve into what really is driving my actions currently. I need some time to reflect. Unfortunately, that will have to wait until some point next week. For there are events and plans scheduled from now until Monday. No time for little old Desi.

Here we go: This yelled at me today on the way to work:

"You sold your soul for an ounce of attention.
Gaining the world and demanding affection.
Will you ever be pleased with your own skin?
Will you ever refuse what they're asking?

You can't hide your insecurities with a pretty face.

Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
Begging face down on the floor.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
You sold your soul, now they want more.

Vanity's gun left you dead in Hollywood.
Empty, addicted, and screaming for comfort
From a world devoid of compassion
Exchanging hopes for rejection.

You can't hide your insecurities with a pretty face.

Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
Begging face down on the floor.
Breed it, and bear it, and make it your narcotic.
You sold your soul, now they want more."

"Narcotic"-Dead Poetic

Adieu.

So Why Don't You?

I think blogging is helping me get through this end of the semester stress. This blog is super important to me, because it allows me time for therapy in the form of music. I absolutely love this song, because it screams! Here we go:

Wake up! Wake up! My God!
This is not a test!
And it's not too late to come clean
Get it off your chest
So steady your hand before your face and concentrate
There's got to be some stable ground
Left to walk on

So tear another page from the book
Are you asleep or just alone?
Clear this room from your lungs

Pull yourself together
Pull yourself together, man

On your back,
You're sleeping in a bed of shame
Let the light breath some new life into this room
It's what keeps you coming back
Made up of insatiable taste
Bury your head in your hands
And sing into yourself

Oh!

Just what are you so afraid of?
What are you so afraid of?
You're staring truth in the face
So come on down
What are you so afraid of?

You're busy living now, aren't you?
You're busy making vows
You're coming unglued

Time is shorter than you know
I know the light is blinding to the naked eye
So why don't you take steps away from being alone?
I swear, it's not too late for you

It's all worth reaching for
The hand to pull you out

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
And step outside your box

Wake up! 

In Regards to Myself- underOATH

LOVES it. Now go, and reflect.

-Desi

So Just a Little End-of-Semester Pick me up.

I have been sitting here sort of neglecting a lot of things recently:

*My Relationship
*My Homework
*My RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis my joints are killing me somedays)
*My General Health (Getting Flabby)

And was called out tonight on it. I was questioned as to why I do the things I do. Why do I choose to ignore the pressing and majorly important things in my life? I realize it is sort of a defense mechanism that I have used all of my life. When things become tense, stressful, and overwhelming I shut down and off. I may be physically there, but hollow behind these eyes. I will work on this because I feel like I need to become better in times of stress, so being called out will be a great life lesson I will take and use. Cheers for telling me I need to work on it, though it definitely will not change over night. One song that has been on and will be on throughout the final leg of this semester, and FINALS is from Tahiti 80. It's very inspiring to me, and brings me hope. Here we go:

"My life is a mess
just like everybody elses
I guess
not enough time
and too much stress
I'm neglecting you

I'm not saying
I don't worry at all
There are times and moments
to cure my soul
sit back and relax
it's gonna be alright

I know we can
sort this out
It's just a matter of time
baby can't you see
the look on my face
won't you give me a try

I know we can
work it out
It's just a matter of time
baby won't you say
you'll stay and
kiss me one more time

Life is a test
it can be tough but
I'm doing my best
it takes some time
and a lot of stress
but I'm finding my way

I'm not saying
you learn all along
There is always someone
to tell you it's wrong
but I'm talking too much
get back to real life

Say the word
and I'll be there
(so don't you worry now)

Just say the word
and I'll be there
(so don't you worry now) 

I'm not saying
I don't worry at all
There are times and moments
to cure my soul
just sit back and relax
it's gonna be alright


Just say the word 
and I'll be there."
-Matter of Time by Tahiti 80

Ciao,
-Desi